


My Share of Good and Bad

by rosabelladarling



Series: Tanakabastian Takeover 2k15 [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, M/M, PWP, Tanakabastian - Freeform, Tanakabastian Takeover 2k15, Trigger - Child Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4137024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosabelladarling/pseuds/rosabelladarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanakabastian drabbles by themes. From the beginning to the middle to the bitter end of the love of a lifetime - Sebastian Michaelis and Tanaka.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy this piece and would like to learn more about the reasons that Sebastian and Tanaka should be together, please join us in the "The Tanaka X Sebastian FC ("Ho Ho Ho" means "I love you")" fanclub. We look forward to praising this ship with you.

_Missed Opportunity_

Only Sebastian remained. Ciel had locked himself into his study. Baldroy was off comforting Mey-Rin and Finny while Snake quietly dug in the wet earth a grave that none had expected.

“Ho…ho…oh?”

Sebastian smiled at Tanaka – the real Tanaka – as the house steward opened his eyes.

“The young master has retired for the night,” Sebastian said. It was a horrible lie. The boy had instructed Sebastian to call for him when the moment had come. There was no honor in seeing one’s chess piece crumble, he supposed. Especially when it was so beloved a piece.

Tanaka nodded weakly. “Protect him…Sebastian?”

A hand, wrinkled and shaking, slipped from beneath the covers to reach for Sebastian. The demon grasped the hand in his own gloved grip.

“What kind of butler would I be if I didn’t?” he countered.

It was the slow smirk on Tanaka’s face that distracted him from the fingertips dipping into his glove. By the time the fabric had slipped to the floor, Sebastian’s hand was exposed, the mark of their master’s contract dark in the low candlelight.

The curve of Tanaka’s fingers on his on stilled him before Sebastian could pull back.

“Always,” breathed Tanaka. He waited a moment before grinning, his eyes barely able to keep themselves open.

Lips slipping into a smile that made his face feel warm, Sebastian slid his fingers away easily. One hand bare and the other gloved, he took hold of Tanaka’s face by either cheek. As if wanting to memorize that gentile grin.

“Always,” Sebastian confirmed.

He could feel the moment was arriving. The man’s soul – too sweet for Sebastian’s taste yet smelling like a finely brewed tea – was practically straining against its vessel. The steward had known this whole time. How he had known was simple. He was a former butler. But it made Sebastian angry now…angry that he should have to go gather his master to watch the man die…angry that the young master would move on in life without Tanaka in it…angry that he had to give up his time with Tanaka and leave him alone.

It was with a gentleness that he had not entirely meant that he slipped his hands quietly from the other man’s face. Tanaka nodded again –perhaps for the very last time – and Sebastian hurried out of the room to gather the young master in time for the final taking of his pawn.

And as he strode up the stairs, he was still angry. Anger. It was such a human emotion. He smiled, willing his face into calm for his master. This was the price of being a Phantomhive servant. This was the butler’s aesthetics.

This was the darkness…and there went his light.


	2. Chapter 2

_A Challenge_

When Tanaka appeared at the manor fresh from his recovery, Ciel welcomed him with open arms.

Or at least as open as the Earl of Phantomhive’s arms were wont to go.

“Let’s have a challenge,” said the young master, put in an inexplicability good mood with Tanaka returned. “Sebastian. Your tea against Tanaka’s.”

“Yes, my lord,” said Sebastian dutifully. He even bowed to Tanaka. The old house steward bowed back with a delighted chuckle.

Sebastian settled with a fine Souchong. Rather smoky for the master’s taste but it was sure to put whatever tea Tanaka would make to shame. He should feel a little guilty, Sebastian supposed, beating out an old man. But he was sure if their lifespans were set side-by-side, he’d have Tanaka beat by an easy century.

Placing the tea in front of the Earl, Sebastian bowed again.

“Ah. Souchong. You took out the finer leaves, Sebastian.” Ciel smirked. “Intimidated, were you? By little old Tanaka?”

“A Phantomhive servant who can’t do this much isn’t worth his s-“

“Here you are, Lord Phantomhive,” said Tanaka, striding into the room with a simple cup of thin liquid. Sebastian didn’t recognize it among the many teas he had studied and perfected for the master’s palate. He eyed Tanaka as the man stood before them, smile settling into his wrinkles.

Ciel nodded. “Very good. Exchange teas.”

Frowning, Sebastian straightened. “My lord?”

“Teas, Sebastian,” he said coyly. He even added a flutter of his eyelashes. “You’re to give Tanaka your tea to sample and vice versa. Are you hard of hearing suddenly? Should I make it an order?”

He was going to snap this boy’s soul up like a hawk with a flailing fish.

“No, young master,” he said with silk in his voice. “Here, Tanaka. I hope that you enjoy this brew.”

“Ho…but are you sure?”

Right eye twitching, Sebastian took Tanaka’s tea as the house steward took the Souchong.

“It is our master’s wish,” said Sebastian.

Tanaka smiled kindly. “Spoken like a true Phantomhive servant.” He raised the cup. “Cheers!”

As Tanaka brought the Souchong to his lips with a sigh, Sebastian frowned. To be sure Ciel Phantomhive was an interesting contract. But was he really worth all of this? Sebastian took a sip of tea…

…and promptly slapped his hand over his mouth to preventing the unknown urge to hurl.

“What…” he began, not so much in pain as taken off guard by the sharp pings dotting his mouth. “ _What was in that tea_!?!”

“Ho ho ho!” exclaimed Tanaka.

Ciel let his frown curl into a comfortable smirk. “Welcome back, Tanaka.”


	3. Chapter 3

_Phone Rings_

“Hello, Tanaka. I just received your message. How are things?”

“Very well, sir. Lady Elizabeth is being tended to by Mey-Rin until the master returns.”

“Hah…that would be quite the sight to see.”

“It was for the first ten minutes but Mey-Rin can only scream for so long before it gets a bit repetitious. Lady Elizabeth is trying to replace Mey-Rin’s glasses again.”

“She does love her glasses, doesn’t she, Tanaka?”

“She does, sir. Yes.”

“Almost as much as you love your monocle.”

“It is difficult to see in my old age, Sebastian.”

“Hmm. You saw me.”

“Yes, I did see you. But you are quite a difficult individual to miss.”

“As are you, Tanaka.”

“You flatter me. How long will you let the master sleep?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“I am sorry. I did not mean to be coy. How will you explain to the master that he has slept in?”

“The young master asked for another hour of sleep after a vigorous dancing session last evening. I am simply honoring his order.”

“My apologies. I assumed that there was an ulterior motive in your actions.”

“Oh there was. I can talk to you now. But the young master’s desires and my own desires happened to align this morning.”

“Do you have many? Desires, I mean. You are such a mystery to the rest of us.”

“A butler’s desires should always mimic those of his master. He should wish the best for his household and all within it…what other desires should I have, being but a butler?”

“None other at all. I have taught you that much.”

“Hmm hmm…you are a great teacher. The Phantomhive’s humble servant, Tanaka.”

“When the situation calls for it.”

“Ah but you are always humble. You refuse to take my praise, as any butler would.”

“We are but an extension of the young master. Praise to me is praise to him.”

“Tanaka. I do believe that some of the praise that I give to you would be…problematic should I apply it to the young master.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You are humble yet devious. I will not say such sordid things over the phone. It would not be becoming. Perhaps you will hear them tonight…”

“ _Oh my God. Will you two shut up and just kiss already?_ ”

“…”

“…”

"..."

“Young master. I was unaware that you were awake. I shall start your morning routine momentarily. Though you should know that listening in on others’ conversations is a highly inappropriate use of your time. But we’ll fix that today with something more appropriate. It’s time for more dance lessons, I believe.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sensitive subject of child loss. Will add to tags.

_Twelve Babies_

“You never told me that you had children.”

Tanaka looked up to find Sebastian at the doorway of his room.

“I had them. They are no longer on this earth. And we cannot mourn and forget to live. It is they who are lost…not I. The Phantomhives need me. And so I will stay.”

Frowning, Sebastian bowed. “My sincerest apologies, Tanaka. I had no idea that you had suffered such a loss.”

Smiling genuinely, Tanaka shook his head. “My friend…this is not the day to think of such things. It is a cause for celebration in the Phantomhive household.”

“Indeed. Though we have you to thank for the celebration. If not for your quick thinking, the child might not have survived.” Sebastian tilted his head. “Our lady asked for you to come up after dinner to thank you. She wanted me to tell you that, should the rules be different, the child would be taking your name as a tribute.”

Chuckling, Tanaka said, “Lady Elizabeth always was the kindest woman. The perfect wife for our master. She flatters me…I doubt that I shall ever receive a higher praise.”

“I have a feeling you might receive praise from our master if you take – and I quote – ‘that squawking brat away.’ Fatherhood does not suit him. He will need our guidance now more than ever.”

The smile did not fade from Tanaka’s face. But the light in his eyes dimmed ever so slightly. “Indeed. He will.”

Both butlers – former and current – were silent for a moment.

“What were their names…your children?” asked Sebastian softly.

He was slightly concerned that the house steward would grow angry. But then he felt foolish for thinking such a thing. Tanaka’s face calmed.

“Somehow – when they lived past birth – the babes were always girls,” began Tanaka, voice neither sad nor solemn. As if he was recounting the story of someone else’s life. “None of them lived to see the next. And, perhaps out of some twisted sense of eventual fulfillment, my wife insisted that we give them all the same name. Hope.”

He paused, blinking at the wall.

“The first three were lost almost as quickly as they were conceived. The fourth lived for a year and a half. Two more miscarriages. The seventh lived the longest – two years. Agnatina was actually with child when the child passed. She lost the child and later the babe she carried. And so the cycle continued three more times.”

Sebastian frowned. Tanaka was acting nothing like he should and yet exactly as he always had. Humans were so very interesting.

“Eleven children,” said Sebastian. “Eleven daughters all named Hope. What a trial you endured.”

Face grown serious, Tanaka shook his head. “We had twelve daughters.”

“Twelve?”

“Twelve…Agnathina died in childbirth.”

Silence settled again like an anvil.

“And Hope was her name?” asked Sebastian.

“No,” said Tanaka, smile gone yet corners of the lips twitching. As if the need to assure Sebastian that he was fine remained. “I named her Mercy.”

With the celebration of the birth of the latest Phantomhive child, there was very little time for Sebastian to do anything but check on the nuisance of a nanny. But, when he did manage a moment, he bought the fullest roses ready to burst with their crimson hues. Locating the gravestones wasn’t difficult. Nor was setting a flower on each bed of weeds that had grown as the years grew faster and the visits were fewer.

Weeks later, the silent clasp of Tanaka’s hand against his own was enough for Sebastian to confirm what he had always deemed to be true. Humans were interesting. And, on rare occasions, unpredictable.


End file.
